So, self care is a bit of a buzz word. And, there is a belief that it has to be expensive, and extravagant. That it’s all about manicures and pedicures. And, yeah, sometimes that is what you need, and that’s great. But, that’s not really what self-care is all about. It’s really about doing what is necessary to be physically, mentally and spiritually well.
And, the reason for this is, it has a flow on effect. When you are feeling more calm, creative and confident, this flows on down to all your relationships. So, your kids feel this way as well. That old saying ‘You can’t fill from an empty cup’ is super true. When your cup is full, it’s easier to fill theirs.
Self-care doesn’t have to be hard. And it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. One of the biggest push backs that I get is ‘I don’t have time’ Make time. Literally schedule it in your diary. It doesn’t have to be much, 5-10 minutes a day. Keep that appointment with yourself.
WHAT DOES SELF CARE LOOK LIKE THEN?
1. It can be something you already do, you just start doing it more mindfully. If you go for a walk everyday, start noticing the trees, and the flowers, or the beach and the water. Be completely in the walk. Or, maybe it’s a cup of tea. Sit with that tea, and just drink it. Maybe it’s a skin care routine (that’s mine!) Take the time each day to do this routine. Maybe it’s giving yourself a bed time. Think about the times that you generally have space – driving to work, washing your hair, doing the laundry. Crank up a poddy, or your favourite song, and make that time about you. Don’t rush it. Take the time to be with yourself. 2
2. Don’t bottle up your feelings. Let them out. Journal it, see a therapist, talk to a trusted person. Let that shit go. Holding on to it, often leads it to explode, and we vet to someone that maybe isn’t a safe person to vent to, and it just makes you feel worse, and more stressed.
3 – Social connection. We need it. Especially as Mums. Motherhood can be really fucking lonely. There were times when Tilly was little that I have never felt more isolated in my life. and yes, social media counts. Curate your feed so that it brings you joy, and when you scroll through it lifts you up. Comment on posts, people want you to comment, they want to create a dialogue with you. I want people to comment on my posts! Sure, it feels awkward at first, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
4 – Create flexible, sustainable, easy habits. That’s what it’s about. One of the most important things to remember is that we never, ever stop becoming who we are. We change and we grow and evolve, and the process of becoming never ends. We need to take the time to cultivate this within ourselves, and so that means our self-care will ebb and flow. So, cut yourself some slack if you don’t get to it, or it’s not perfect. It doesn’t have to be perfect. We, as humans are inherently flawed, and that is what makes us, us. The key is just consistency. So mark that 5 minutes in your diary.
5 – Journal it out. Journaling, for me, is one of the quickest and easiest forms of self-care. I’ve found the answers to so many of my questions within the pages of my journal. I know, lots of people feel like it’s a chore, but I’m going to drop some prompts for you, just give it a try.
- How can I take care of myself today? Stop and breath for 3 breaths. What is your body telling you? What do you need?
- What am I grateful for today? Why?
- What are 3 things that I am doing that no longer serve me? How can I stop doing these things?
- I practice self-care because I want to feel…?
- List 10 things that you can do to take care of yourself in 10 minutes or less.
Let me know what self-care looks like for you!